Tuesday, September 12, 2006
1.58am on the clock now. In camp. Blogging in the dark. Just some random thoughts and happenings.
They wanna take back our "bunk". It's that little room upstairs that we slp in n watch tv in. And they wanna take it away, give us really terrible
real bunks. Staying in won't be so fun anymore.
I hate officers. They are either just damn good wayangs or very good academically or just damn good jokers. They go through bmt same as us. But once they put on their chocolate bar they're transformed. Actually no. It's from the moment they put on that white shirt n black pants and step into safti. They're just some age guys who performed well enough to be recognised and taken to become officers. So the rank gives them the right to give extra, to knock us down, to take away everything that makes us frens in the first place. They've always that extra own principle that makes them think they're always right. And all the rest are just lowly creatures that they can will with ease.
Crap.
I dunno why i'm bullshitting now. I'm in a total crap mood now. Crap mood for nothing. And blogging is like the only thing that keeps my mind off things. Cos i've to think what to write and write it out so at least distract me a little. Crap mood for nothing. Nothing. Not even slping. I really should be slping since i'm the only one awake in this whole building. But crap. Just crappy mood to write anything decent anyway.
Ok try to be decent. Monday's are such lousy days. I've never experienced Monday blues when i was in school, cos sch's not exactly the thing that i would loathe. But now i hate my work. There's no meaning in this place of mine. I hate doing all the routine paperworks. I hate the naggings from the in-charges.
So tired today i came work and attended roll call as usual. By the way roll call is such a dumb thing but yeah shan't come to that. After that i went up to my "bunk" and slpt till like 940! I was like omg shit so late. And thinking of all kinds of ways to enter my office. After work i just went up and slpt again. Until dinner time they tried to wake me for dinner but i didn't seem to budge. So they decided to go w/o me.
Ok i'm really typing a huge chunk of junk here. I was thinking what if later on the webpage hangs again like last time. I would lose all this. And reproducing something u wrote out of impromptu and impulse isn't exactly the easiest thing to do.
You know some people in the world are just so loathesome.
I realised just like love, hate is something you can grow. Just like you can learn more and love someone more, you can do the exact same thing for hate. Hatred is somewhat of a self-fulfilling thing. You hate the person, everything the person does seems worse than last time - you hate the person more! Simple as that.
You know, sometimes won't u just wish that life could be relived again. There's so much imperfections that ur life is right now. Things that could be changed if u haven made a so and so decision then. Or rather if u'd made a so and so decision. Life is full of regrets. Whose life isn't? Just that some regrets you're made to live with it, and it's everpresent. You just can't shake it off can you. You get a break, and you think it's permanent. And when it comes back, you're back to square one.
I just found out that forgiveness is a virtue, or rather just acknowledged the fact. And i know i'm quite lacking it.
Just gotten my hotmail account back on track. The tech support people are quite nice and efficient. But not much difference also. I don't talk as much to the people i used to talk with. MSN got not much appeal already. I'm beginning to isolate myself. Only few can relate to me nowadays.
Enough of crap posts. Crap blogs. Time to lie down. Close your eyes. Make urself fall asleep.
