My apologies to my readers (if any) for the lack of blog posts. These days really have been terribly busy. Work of course takes up the majority of my time. Recently the workload seemed to have hit skyhigh. Wonder if any of your had experienced something like this. You step into the office a few mins b4 and work starts at 8. Everyone is on time (lest for a few slackers with no work). Everyone takes up their own places at their own tables and start tapping the keyboard, recording documents, photocopy, fax, phone calls, filings. Suddenly the door opens and your slacker colleague from next door chirps "let's go for lunch" and you realise it's lunchtime already! You haven even left your seat, you haven even gone to the toilet! The same happens after lunch, all the way to book out. It's scary. Really. If anyone would see us like that, they would think we're probably some high-flying coporate employees, but hell no, we are NSFs! Damnit, when do you see NSF slogging their lives out for the nation. It's not garang (or wayang) like you see in training institutes, where personal glory is at stake. Here we work for nothing. Merely just to keep this freakin BM-TC working. We have nothing to strife for actually, perhaps only a Certificate of Excellence awarded to the finest, most competent bootlicker. My colleague often tells me, for his seat overlooks all ours, that when he looks up from his work all he sees in all of us just staring into our computer screen like possessed workaholics. Oh man.. Whats worse is work doesn't really end at 5.30pm like most people would assume so. Cos there is someone known as the Chief Clerk, who despite all the workaholics specs under her, managed to outshine all of them added together. She likes to work until 8.00pm at night. Whats great about that is that she likes to keep someone with her. Mostly she'll let the duty clerk assume that post, however sometimes she has a preference for ppl who are doing work for her, which unfortunately I happen to be one of the few. Sigh.. So in the past 2 weeks I've stayed back around 4 times? And you really can't describe the feeling of leaving the island at 8.00pm. That kind of despair and lost feeling, the knowledge of whatever arrangements and appointments you've made have all gone down the drain.

Thankfully, I still have other things (or people) to look forward to in my life. =)

To those who read my previous posts and are feeling worried, well you can rest assured I'm still alive and kicking, optimistic and happy, though not always, but more often than usual. Whatever issue that has been bothering me has come to a standstill. Although I do not know whether it is a good thing. But in fact nothing good can comes out of this situation. It's only a matter of damage limitation. If only we could turn back time.

Simple Plan - Perfect

Hey Dad look at me
Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according
To plan?
Do you think I’m wasting
My time doing things I
Wanna do?
But it hurts when you
Disapprove all along


And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I’m never gonna be good
Enough for you
I can’t pretend that
I’m alright
And you can’t change me


‘Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect
Now it’s just too late
And we can’t go back
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect


I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be
My hero?
All the days
You spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don’t
Care anymore


And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I’m never gonna be good
Enough for you
I can’t stand another fight
And nothing’ alright


‘Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect
Now it’s just too late
And we can’t go back
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect


Nothing’s gonna change
The things that you said
Nothing’s gonna make this
Right again
Please don’t turn your back
I can’t believe it’s hard
Just to talk to you
But you don’t understand


‘Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect
Now it’s just too late
And we can’t go back
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect


‘Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect
Now it’s just too late
And we can’t go back
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect

Kinda overkilled song. Thats what someone told me when he dedicated this song to me. At the moment, I thought he was trying to say sorry. But now I get it.

you were loved at
12:37 pm